LET'S forePLAY!

A lot has been written about foreplay..once again, we're going to stick to the principles and learn one good technique. The principle is make your partner feel safe and comfortable such that she can have permission to feel aroused. Then you intensify her arousal and do your duty of making her feel like the Queen of the Universe.. Isn't that what all women wants to feel?



Kate Moss- Queen of the Universe


The number one foreplay technique which we recommend is massage. If you already don't know how, go take some lessons, or (just email us we'll send you some materials with regards to it) or just get a good massage and notice what you like, then do the same for her. Massage accomplishes all the key goals of foreplay: by focusing your attention fully on her and her comfort, you;re making her feel safe, comfortable and loved; you're delaying your pleasure and attending to hers, delaying your pleasures and attending to hers, setting yourself apart from all the other drooling brutes; and you're loosening up her mind and body, opening the floodgates for massive arousal.





Now there is a good massage technique and there is a great massage technique.The one you are about to learn qualifies as phenomenal technique. It's derived from Tantra Yoga, and it's called the Kama Marma Technique. In tantric tradition, kama marmas are erogenous zone to stimulate the physical body and nourish the psychic body.There are tertiary , secondary, and primary kama marmas. What you want to do is start by stimulating the secondary zones, the go to the primary and finally the tertiary zones. The effect is that of a tease, release, then super tease of newly activated tertiary erogenous zone. A suggested method is to first TOUCH, then BLOW, then LICK each part in turn. DO this right and prepare to be worshipped like the sex god that you are.

Here are the list of primary, secondary and tertiary erotic zones:

Primary Zones:




1. Lips and Labia




2. Breast, Nipples
3. Genitals




Secondary Zones:




1. Earlobes





2. Nape of neck





3. Sacrolumbar junction
4. Gluteal Fold
5. Inside of thighs - light stroke
6. Back of knees



Tertiary Zones:
1. Edge of pinkie




2. Palms of hand - circular stroke
3. Navel - clockwise stroke
4. Anus
5. Nostril
6. Ear Orifice
7. Sole of feet
8. Big toe


From: The Tao of Sexual Mastery by Dr. Alex Benzer

Turn him on tonight

TURN HIM ON TONIGHT

From: Sex Encyclopedia

Remember, there’s no such thing as ordinary night, we can always turn any night into that special, romantic, wonderfully unforgettable night, did I say, scorching hot and mind blowing. Yeah! that too. .All you need is yourselves plus the fun, naughty, flirty, uninhibited, imaginative, YOU.

But don’t wait until night time to get things going.. drum beat the mood early on, start by texting your husband, texting him like, “ I’m in the shower, would you like to join” anything that you think would titillate his mind.. Or give him a call, use your sexy, low, gentle voice. Lastly, creativity can get you what you want, use it.

** LIGHT HIS FIRE

If you’re too embarrassed to be explicit, be flirty.

My favorite, Dita Von Teese for Fredericks

** DRESS FOR GREAT SEX

Buying items that turn our husbands on can be stressful and will take some effort.

To find out what your lover might like, leave a Victoria’s Secret or Frederick’s of Hollywood catalog around and see which items hold your husband’s gaze longest. Or choose what most men choose when shopping alone; a garter belt-lace bra combination in bright red or black.

Salespeople say you can never go wrong with satin gown. It highlights curves, flows beautifully, and catches the light. Plus, ambiguous combination of vampiness and elegance is a real turn on for men.

But if you’re the one of those practical stay home wife, just avoid wearing shorts or pants during those nights, you can cut your long dress short that will do… But please if you want to improve your sex life, throw that “duster” in your closet and never wear one again.

Yum!

** COOK UP SOME GOOD LOVING

Prepare something light for your husband so your husband will have more energy in the bedroom. You don’t want him to be stuffed. Stay away from meat, and heavy sauces, cheese and dessert, load up on leafy vegetables, spices and fruits especially grapes, oranges. Indulge in Strawberry in chocolate or bake a salmon fillet in vanilla sauce and a glass of wine. By the way, keep honey available.. Or if you want to subscribe to the Uragon’s ( people from bicol) secret, they say it's all in the siling labuyo. Go try it out.

** GET A ROMANTIC GLOW

First, don’t buy pink bulb. The rose coloring actually makes you look pink. What you want is an amber tint, like get at sunset. ; 60-watt amber bulb in your bedside lamp gives you that radiance. Or if your overhead fixture is hooked to dimmer, put amber bulbs in it. Dimmed light diffuses, so avoid the unflattering ghoul-like look. If you must use white bulb, make them low wattage ( no more than 30 watts) and let light reflect off your bed by using white sheets or tossing a white throw over it. A woman lying on white linens and lit overhead by a soft light looks great because the fabric reflects and fills in any harsh shadows.

** SEDUCE HIM WITH SCENT

Pick a perfume that reflects the image you want to project that night. If, for example, you want to play the earthy girl-next-door, try a clean fragrance like Navy or Body Shop’s White Musk. Feeling vampy? Pick obsession or another scent with a little spice. Want something in between like the girl-next-door with a run in her stocking? As for musk, let your mate take a sample whiff before you squirt it on for your anniversary. It’s a love or hate thing.

** SMOOTH THE WAY

Or shall I say, massage your way to orgasm…First, create a soothing mood. Play a soft music, turn down the lights, unplug the phone, turn off the cellphone.

Once you’ve set the scene, go slowly. Have your husband lie on his stomach, and either kneel beside him or straddle him across his lower back. Start the massage if you don’t know exactly how to massage just try touching, caressing, stroking, lingering over his body, just maintain contact with his skin. It’s better if you use oil or lotion. See where your strokes may bring you.

** IGNITE THE PASSION WITH MUSIC

Two words: Barry White. If you want to get into the groove, nothing is more persuave than the molasses-sweet smoothness of soul’s greatest love doctor, though Teddy Pendergrass, Marvin Gaye, and Luther Vandross are all close second.

Why do these men stir the hearts and lions of listeners? They sound like they’re in love when they’re singing about it. They can do the seducing for you. Choosing the male vocalist also lets your husband project himself on to loverman persona. When they listen to Marvin Gaye, they become the smooth soul-daddy lover, even if in real life they’re geeky, uptight IT man. But if you want an alternative, you can always play the Erotic Lounge, this will certainly inspire you go on fire.

** TAKING IT OFF

The idea is to look like your making love. The slower the better. To help you put in the mood, our suggestion if about putting on music something that sets the scene for intimacy. As for clothes, body doll dress is good, or your husband’s shirt something you can flip up and flirt with that will come off easily. Make up should be minimal and soft. A little powder on the shoulder or blush between the breast is fine, nto the time for foundation on the neck. You want to be clean and touchable. But don’t let him touch at least at first. Keeping a flirtatious distance, you want to dance ( shake your hips, thrust your pelvis) as you play peekaboo with your clothes. Slowly lift your shirt or dress, then drop it. Undo the button, And another.. Feel daring? You can fling the dress and keep dancing in your bra and panties..

( To the daring: Remember the careless whisper dance of Katrina & Hayden, try doing your own version but with a sexy shoes on.)

For the timid who would rather not shimmy, all you really need to worry about is an easy sway and eye contact. Really look at your husband . Your face will draw him in more than any other part of your body.

* For couples with babies and kids around, you might want to go to a motel/hotel if you want that uninterrupted bliss.

P.S.

“ Heterosexual men who receive oral sex are happier with their sex lives and with their

relationships in general.” - ( Schwartz and Blumstein) Ladies, men love blowjobs but be careful of teething puppies, they bite a bit.

PASSION SPOILER ALERT!!

PASSION KILLERS by Dr. Carole Pasahow

** Avoiding sexual contact ( the longer you’re away from sex, the harder it is to reconnect.)

** Not treating one another in a loving manner outside the bedroom.

** Not caring about physical appearance.






** Not protecting your sexual relationship from INTRUSION.

** Bringing up non-sexual business during a sexual encounter.

** Communicating in attacking or critical manner.

** Not willing to try out new technique and intercourse position.





** Not paying attention to what truly pleases your partner and stimulating parts of their body that are turn offs.

** Learn how to touch and talk to your partner during sexual play in order to their desire and arousal.


** Not willing to communicate and mesh different sexual styles.

Kissing Technique 101

CLEAN TEETH AND FRESH BREATH

First off, you absolutely must have clean teeth and fresh clean smelling breath. You should have your teeth cleaned at least twice a year. And brush your teeth every morning and evening and after ever meal if possible. Drink a lot of water rather than soft drinks (for general health and for healthy teeth), coffee can stain your teeth and leave bad breath. Also if you are on a date and you go to dinner, after you eat go to the restroom and clean your teeth and make sure you don't have any food stuck in your teeth. The natural enzymes in your mouth can cause the food to putrefy in your mouth and cause bad breath. This is especially true with meat! Keep some mints handy for the both of you. Mints are better than gum because they will dissolve where gum will stay around and may get in the way of your first kiss! Now that you have clean teeth and breath, let's talk about kissing technique.

KEEP YOUR LIPS IN SHAPE

Do you want to kiss someone with dry, cracked and or raw lips? Well neither does she! So keep your lips in good shape. Keep some chapstick, carmex or other lip conditioner with you at all times and keep your lips soft and smooth. Don't pick or pull your skin on your lips, it will only make it worse!

KISSING TECHNIQUE

Let's assume that this is a first kiss and if it is not a first kiss, pretend that it is a first kiss . It will help bring some new excitement to a existing relationship, try it and see!

So first off go slow and don't rush things. When the time is right, slowly go in for the kiss and be very gentle, with only slightly parted lips. Most women complain that either the guys are too tight lipped or to wide lipped and slobber all over them. So you need to have just slightly parted lips. Then gently press or cushion your lips on hers. When you put your lips on hers they will fit better if you straddle either her top or bottom lip between your lips. Kiss her long and slow, and then if she responds follow her lead and kiss her again.

Each time savor the experience and vary where your lips land from her top lip to her bottom lip or on both lips...

As you continue you can part your lips more and gently start to bring just the tip of your tongue into play. Now if she has stared sticking her tongue into your mouth, then that is a strong signal for you to do the same, but still go slowly and don't stick it in all the way, go slow in a teasing manner.... Once you get to this point of passionate French Kissing, there are endless variations and techniques you can use. I will give you a few below.

Tongue Techniques:

When you are kissing passionately with your tongues involved you can:

1. Run your tongue around hers and intertwine your tongue with hers.

2. Play the follow me game: Touch her tongue, then quickly bring your tongue back into your mouth and see if she follows you?

3. Suck on her tongue! or Suck on her lower lip! GENTLY PLEASE!!!

4. Flick the tip of her tongue with your with your tongue the same way that you would her clitoris if you were performing oral sex on her. This technique will give her the message that you would be good at oral sex!

5. Lick the edges of the inside of her lips with the tip of your tongue.

Those should get you going and for your homework, come up with variations of your own.

Now that you have been passionately kissing you may be heading toward passionate lovemaking. So let's take this kissing into the realm of foreplay and oral sex!

Three Rules of Lovemaking

THREE RULES OF LOVEMAKING

By: Jude Cotter, Ph. D.

A multitude of sexual problems could be avoided if we all followed three simple rules for intercourse, says Jude Cotter, PH.D. a psychologist and sex therapist.

1. WOMEN FIRST. – The woman should be allowed to reach orgasm before the man. She may get there through whatever arousal patterns she needed – by stimulating her clitoris to her finger s ( his, hers or both ), through oral sex, with a vibrator, or whatever. But she should always be allowed to g et there first. This is not mere chivalry; its physiology.

“ When the guy is done, he’s done-it’s all over,” Dr. Cotter explains. After orgasm and ejaculation, men’s bodies need a period of recovery before they can repeat performance, and the older the man is the longer it takes. A teenager may need a minute ; a 50- year old man requires hours. Women on the other hand, require no such recovery time; many can reach orgasm repeatedly without ever needing a rest.

“ Also of a guy is having erectile problems, he obsesses; he worries; he gets performance anxiety.” Dr. Cotter says. “ But very few things can give a man a confidence like seeing her come first, that takes away 90% of his fears.”

2. SHE DECIDES WHEN IT’S TIME FOR PENETRATION..

The woman should determine when penetration will take place, whether she assumes the on top position or he does.

“ You ask a guy how he knows that a woman is ready for penetration, and he says, “ she’s wet / or her nipples are erect.” Dr. Cotter says, “ But a woman can lubricate before she even undresses, and sometimes her nipples are erect because she’s freezing. Other women never get erect nipples. The fact is, the only one who knows for sure that she’s ready if HER.

3. IT SHOULD ALWAYS BE THE WOMAN WHO GUIDES HER PARTNERS PENIS IN.

The woman should control how rapidly things proceed to climax. Allowing her to guide him in is just another way to make sure this happens. Also, even if his not fully erect by the time she’s ready, she can use his penis as a dildo, rubbing and stroking it against herself so that he is almost bound to have an erection before too long and then is bale to penetrate her.

In general, Dr. Cotter explains, these rules acknowledge something most people don’t realize: it’s the man, not the woman who is more sexually fragile. As William Masters, M.D., co director of Masters and Johnson Institute

Once remarked, “ The female has an infinitely greater capacity for sexual response than a man ever dreamed of.” It is he, not she who is more likely having trouble fulfilling his side of the sexual bargain. “ When a couple practices these simple rules for intercourse, though it wipes out almost all those sexual problems,” Dr. Cotter contends.

THINGS NOT TO SAY/DO DURING SEX

I have to poop.

Smile for the camera.

Get off me, I’ll do it myself.

This is your first time…right?

You’re almost as good as my ex.

When is this suppose to feel good.

I thought YOU had the boys to the handcuffs!!??

I was so horny tonight, I would have taken a sheep horn.

Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper.

Hey, My hands were right You ARE good!

On second thought, let’s turn the light off.

I’m sobering up and you’re getting ugly!

But everybody looks funny naked.

Do I have to pay for this?

You’re too fat to be on top, you’ll kill me.

What’s your name again

Hold on, let me change the channel.

Uhhuh….I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago.

You woke me up for that?

Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?

My ex-boyfriend/girlfriend did it like this.

Don’t answer your phone.

How long do you think it will take you to come.

Why am I doing all the work?

Perhaps your just out of practice.

You sweat like a pig!

Foreplay is overrated anyway.

Have you ever consider liposuction for that?

What are you planning to make for breakfast?

I have a confession…

I’ll tell you who you’re fantasizing about, if you tell me who you’re fantasizing about.

Could you at least ACT like you’re enjoying it.

How long do you plan to be “ almost there”?

Never watch the game or a show on TV during sex.

Keep it down you’re distracting me.

Let's talk about anal sex!!!

10 Rules of Anal Sex by Jack Morin

Butt Plug

Jack Morin, PhD, a San Francisco sex therapist and researcher, is the author of Anal Pleasure and Health.

Anal Eroticism is surrounded by a powerful taboo. Yet millions of men and women - straight, gay and bisexual - are experimenting with anal sex. The anus, richly endowed with nerve endings and interconnected with the main pelvic muscles, is the closest erogenous neighbor of the genitals and contracts rhythmically during orgasm. Thirty-five years ago, Kinsey stated that the anal region had erotic significance for about half of the population. In a survey of 100,000 Playboy readers, 47 percent of the men and 61 percent of the women admitted to having tried anal intercourse.

Yet the anal taboo inhibits most people from thinking, talking and learning about the sexual use of the anus. Listed here are the ten things most men and women still do not know about anal sex.

1. Anal intercourse is the least practiced form of anal sex.

There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. The most common techniques include touching the anal opening while masturbating or stimulating a partner's anus during intercourse or oral sex. Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger - their own or a lover's - insinuated into their anal opening and gently rotated. Others may prefer the insertion of a dildo or vibrator beyond the anal opening and short anal canal into the larger rectum. Many men, including heterosexuals, prefer this form of penetration. Oral-anal lovemaking is popularly known as rimming. The very idea disgusts some people. Others enjoy performing it or allowing themselves to be probed in this special way.

2. Anal stimulation, including intercourse, is not painful if done properly.

The belief that anal stimulation, especially intercourse, has to hurt is a persistent and dangerous myth. Just as pain anywhere in the body indicates that something is wrong, so is the same true of the anal area. With its high concentration of nerve endings, the anus can produce extreme agony when it is mistreated. Yet it can be a source of great pleasure. When a finger, object or penis is introduced into the anus, the anal muscles go into spasm, as if fighting off an invasion. Pain will result if the partners do not wait for these muscles to relax. Under sufficient stress they will eventually collapse and the pain subside, unless further damage is done. But, any 'pleasure' afforded from this kind of activity derives mostly from the absence of discomfort. Maximum anal pleasure requires the elimination of all pain or physical trauma from the anal experience. Self-protection on the part of the passive partner involves being ready to say "no" until he or she is ready to proceed. Readiness is a combination of physical relaxation, usually helped along by plenty of leisurely anal touching, and desire. Occasionally the anal muscles are relaxes, but the passive partner is still not in the mood. Stimulation should mount only in proportion to the degree of receptivity.

3. Anal sex can be enjoyed even if it has been consistently uncomfortable in the past.

Sufficient desire alone does not necessarily guarantee pleasurable anal sex. Nor is an uncomfortable previous experience always the reason for a lack of interest in or desire for anal sex. Chronic anal tension is the most common cause of anal discomfort during sex. Hemorrhoids and constipation are usually a sign of this condition. Tension can be relieved by touching the anus and becoming more familiar with it. An ideal time to explore the anal opening is while taking a shower or bath. Deep breathing also affects the anal muscles. Tensing the anus and the letting go in another way of learning to relax it. Anyone who enjoys masturbation might want to experiment with some form of anal stimulation, though he or she should stop if any discomfort occurs. For many people the turning point in anal sex is when they allow a partner to massage the anus with the understanding that intercourse will not be attempted. Then the recipient of anal caresses can concentrate solely on the pleasure that this erogenous zone is capable of generating.

4. Two muscle rings called sphincters surround the anal opening. Each functions independently.

If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your anus and press your fingertip against the side, you can clearly feel the two sphincter muscles. There is less than a quarter-inch between them. The external sphincter is controlled by the central nervous system - just like the muscles of the hand, for example. You can readily tense and relax this sphincter whenever you want. The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is controlled by the involuntary or autonomic part of the nervous system, which governs such functions as heartbeat and stress response. The internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety during anal sex. It will cause the anus to tense up automatically even if the passive partner is trying to relax. Thus, precautions about safety and comfort are essential here. Even if a person does feel comfortable during anal sex, he or she may still need to learn voluntary control over his or her internal sphincter in order to relax it at will. Doing so requires regularly inserting a finger, perhaps in the shower each day, and feeling the internal sphincter. The muscle changes spontaneously and in response to behavior. In this instance, simply paying attention is more important than trying to relax. Anyone can gradually learn to control the internal sphincter at will.

5. Anal stimulation provides many kinds of pleasure

The highest concentration of nerve endings is around the anal opening itself. A finger can focus on them especially effectively. When an object or penis is inserted beyond the anal opening into the rectum, other pleasures are involved. The outer portion of the rectum, like the vagina, has several nerve endings. The inner portion responds mostly to pressure. Some people enjoy the feelings of pressure and fullness once they understand that these sensations do not presage an
impending bowel movement. Rectal pressure is especially important to enthusiasts of "fisting," a form of anal sex in which several fingers or even the entire hand and forearm are inserted into the rectum and sometimes into the lower colon. In men, the prostate - which is just beyond the rectal wall, a few inches in, towards the front of the body - can be a source of pleasure when massaged by a finger, an object, or a penis. Also, the lower end of the penis, or "bulb," is near the anal opening opening. It is stimulated indirectly by most types of anal sex. Anal pleasure can be psychological as well as physical. The anal taboo adds to the thrill of the forbidden. The most common anti-anal message (it's dirty!) sometimes returns as a source of raunchy, sleazy excitement. Rimming enthusiasts may enjoy the feeling that they are being disgustingly - and delightfully - perverse. Other people regard the anus as a secret, special place. Sharing it with a partner is an act of openness and giving.

Beaded butt plug

6. Anal stimulation can lead to orgasm

A minority of men and women can respond orgasmically to anal sex without direct genital stimulation. Women probably do so through pelvic muscle contractions - and a small minority even though the sheer excitement of being anally penetrated. When men experience an orgasm from anal stimulation, they tend to focus on the prostate. No doubt they are also responding to indirect stimulation of the penile bulb. Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to occur when the participants become thoroughly absorbed in their sensations and fantasies. An almost certain way to prevent such an orgasm is to be become determined to have one. Seeking an anal orgasm will create new pressures and disrupt the pleasure. It must be remembered that most people require direct genital stimulation in order to climax. On the other hand, a few people have orgasms only with anal stimulation.

7. Diet contributes to the enjoyment of anal sex

Regular bowel movements are the major function of the anus and rectum. There must be sufficient fiber in a person's diet to make his or her feces soft, bulky and well formed. This allows a bowel movement to be produced without force or effort. Forced evacuations irritate anal tissues, causing discomfort and adding to muscular tensions. Fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains or unprocessed bran are important sources of fiber.

8. Different rules of hygiene apply to the vagina and rectum

Since intercourse can be vaginal or rectal, many people assume the the same rules apply for the penetration of the vagina and rectum. Although both are lined with soft tissue and are capable of expanding, they are radically dissimilar. The rectum is not straight. After the short anal canal which connects the anal opening to the rectum, the rectum tilts toward the front of the body. A few inches in, it curves back - sometimes as much as 90 degrees. Then, after a few more inches, it swoops toward the front of the body once again. A person can learn about the shape of his or her rectum by gently inserting a soft object, trying different angles and body positions and concentrating on how it feels. Make sure the object has a flared base so that if you loose your grip, it won't slip into the rectum and become irretrievable. The rectum does not produce lubrication like the vagina but only a small amount of mucus. Therefore, rectal penetrationalways requires a lubricant. Chemical additives should be avoided. Water-based lubricants are latex-compatible. The main function of the rectum is to act as a passageway for feces. But feces are not normally stored in the rectum except just prior to a bowel movement. Yet small amounts may remain in the rectum, especially if the feces are not well formed. Anal douching before lovemaking will help some people especially concerned with cleanliness to relax. For others the idea of dirtiness heightens the joy of the forbidden; for them, douching is anti-erotic.

9. Anal intercourse is not necessarily an act of dominance and submission.

The top-bottom imagery associated with anal intercourse is widespread. No doubt the belief that anal sex has to hurt contributes to this notion. And in fact some people are intensely excited by top-bottom fantasies about anal sex. The thought that they are submitting to such a degrading act is a terrific thrill. However, actual, not fantasized, anal pain can lead to trouble. For others, the enjoyment of anal sex is inhibited by top-bottom imagery. The idea of surrendering control, and perhaps submitting to humiliation, causes immediate, protective tensing of the anal muscles. These individuals are more likely to relax and enjoy themselves if they can learn to regard anal sex as pleasurable rather than as an expression of power.

10. Anal sex can be perfectly safe, even beneficial.

The taboo against anal eroticism is perpetuated by the almost universal belief among physicians that anal sex is inevitably dangerous. No physical injury from anal stimulation results if both partners refuse to tolerate pain, never use force and avoid the use of drugs. All the other risks center on sexually transmitted diseases. Each of the common STDs - gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes -can affect the anus. Intestinal parasites, bacteria or tiny bugs are usually passed along when fecal matter finds its way into someone's mouth or vagina, most likely through rimming. AIDS has complicated the matter. The HIV virus can pass from the semen or blood of an infected person to the bloodstream of a partner through a tiny break in the rectal tissue during anal intercourse. To avoid this risk, anal intercourse and rimming should not be practiced casually. Those who do enjoy anal intercourse should always use a condom. Rimming should always be accomplished by a latex barrier. Of course, in a monogamous relationship with two healthy people, the risk of disease transmitted anally is reduced. Thousands of men and women with chronic anal medical problems have restored their anal health by challenging their negative attitudes. This approach is indispensable for full erotic enjoyment of the anus.