5 YEARS OF MARRIAGE ; 5 LESSONS LEARNED

1. TWO IMPERFECT HUMAN BEING = IMPERFECT MARRIAGE

That equation will forever be true. Imperfect marriage equals problems, hardships, challenges, tears, pain, heartaches and sacrifices added to your dream of perfect happy life together. After five years of marriage, gone was the fairly tale thought of living happily ever after. Now I knew my husband was never a prince charming but has always been a frog after all. Now I knew my husband was never a hero because he will never always be there to save  me.  He’s never been my knight in shining armor  because he will never always be there to defend me. He is simply my husband, a partner whom I can share my problems, my frustrations, my fears, my limitations with. Someone I can share my life with for good times and bad times. You see,  I was never a princess too, because after being married  I turn into a witch too. We are imperfect human beings bound to commit mistakes, hurt each other and cause pain to one another. Bottom line if we would like to survive being married, we simply can’t do it alone, we have to ask God’s grace and blessing. We ask for God’s grace that we maybe more understanding to our husbands/partners, we ask for more patience & tolerance, we pray that we may be more kind and loving to each other. Pray it helps..

2. WE LIVE IN OPPOSITE VALUES.

Night and day, joy and sorrow, abundance and scarcity, good and evil, hot and cold, success and failure. We live in opposite values, accept it that’s life. So if you’re not happy with your married life or in anything else,  accept it. It’s life everybody goes through with it, it’s how you react to it that makes the difference. When you’re in the darkness, rejoice and anticipate the coming of light. Everything passes. Just learn to accept things, situation, people as what they are. Always be positive.

3. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF AND RESPECT YOURSELF ABOVE ANYONE ELSE.

Most of the time when women get married, women have this superwoman mentality, hence would do anything to make everyone’s life in the family perfect except for herself. We are consumed of taking care of our husbands and the children that we often forgot to take care of ourselves. What happened next is we see our husbands dating women, who was just like ourselves when we are still taking care of ourselves. I knew I’ll never be able to be thin again hence the two  operation, but that doesn’t mean, I wont be able to go a spa anymore even just for a body scrub or a facial. But believe me you don’t need to spend a dime to make yourself beautiful, go to your kitchen, milk, egg, brown sugar, olive oil & kalamansi, will do wonder to your hair and skin. Learn to love yourself, improve yourself, develop whatever potential you have, never stop learning/educating yourself. Your husband will love you more for it. Lastly, respect yourself, nobody will respect you unless you show respect for yourself first.

       

4. YOU CAN'T CHANGE YOUR HUSBAND/PARTNER/BF, YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE YOURSELF.

If your bf a liar and he become your husband, he’ll still be a liar. Whatever bad habits/traits your bf has right now chances are its  still  the same when you get married. Don’t ever have the illusion that you can change him after you get married or else you’re bound for some heartaches. My husband, the Palusot King, for whatever reason he would always make palusot on whatever, I,  on the other hand would always point out his mistake and would try to interrogate him until he admit the truth. We would go on  a verbal combat, until ma highblood na ko sa kanyang pagka Pilosopo Tasyo and then I get mad. Until I got tired of his palusot and just allow it, never waste my energy with it anymore. We never fight  about it now, it’s given us peace. My husband’s  a self confessed Mama’s boy so when he visits her mother, it would take him hours before he goes back home. While away I would always text him or call him to go home already but still he would always end up going home late. I finally, got tired of it too, now  I would never  text him to go home early when he visits his mother, sometimes I would go with him to visit her if not I would watch movie online or go to the parlor or just go to sleep while his away. I think sometimes a simple change of attitude will go a long way.

5. MAKE LOVE EVERYDAY.

We  at least try.  It always feels good to feel your husband warmth beside you.

It’s a good thing if only for the love talk afterwards. You can express yourself more freely with what and how you feel. If you feel you are neglected that day or there is something you need your husband to do for you, that’s the best time for you to talk. Now, I know that’s selfish but that’s how it works, right? hehehe. The best thing is everyday you have a clean slate when you made a mistake or hurt your partner because you’re able to talk and you have the chance to say sorry or ask for it if you’re the one offended. I won’t expand on the sex thing, people have different take on it. Point here is for a marriage to work you have to talk, you have to communicate in whatever form that suits you. That’s the most important thing.